Interning at the Zoo

These are the reasons why I love my internship at the zoo (even though it's mostly just a desk job and not nearly as cool as actually working with the animals):

1. You can walk around the zoo when you're tired of sitting at your desk, and you can watch lazy otters being lazy.

2. You get to text pictures of tigers to your roommate because of stupid inside jokes.

...Oh, you want to be in on it too? Well basically, I came across this Craigslist ad this doofy girl wrote and she explained how she and her sister have loved tigers all their lives, and they know that people who work with tigers have zoology degrees but if there's anyone with tigers in the Portland area, please contact them because they love tigers sooo much and really really want to work with them. And then she posted a goofy picture of herself (as if that adds something to her post), and the caption was "I'm the one in blue" and it was a picture of TWO GIRLS IN THE SAME BLUE SHIRT. So now whenever my roommate and I see anything with tigers we're like, "I love tigerrrrs" in the dorkiest breathy voice we can muster.

3. You get a discount at the souvenir store so you get a sweet deal on a box of fossilized dino crap for your special someone. Hello, awesome stocking stuffer! (I'm sorry I don't have a picture, but just imagine a nice looking bunch of polished agates that you can give to some unsuspecting person).


4. You get to pass by the case of animal skeletons every day, like this huge giraffe skull. My my, sir, what lovely ossicones you have (er, had).


5. Your desk area comes complete with awesome wolf decor. Sometimes you just know you fit in somewhere. (No, I do not have anything resembling those ridiculous Native American wolf t-shirts at cheesy mall kiosks.)

(Doesn't mean I don't want one.)

(But only for a night shirt...)


6. It's just a quick 10-minute trip on the light rail, which I can easily estimate the arrival time of according to how windy it is in the tunnel. 5 minutes waiting time = no wind at all. 1 minute waiting time = there goes your good hair day. 2 seconds waiting time = your face is composed mostly of hair and lip gloss.
Someone wrote "I hear you" on the other side of the tunnel wall. I am not sure why this is relevant.

While you listen to the light rail moan and bluster its way down the tunnel, you can contemplate things like, "How is lava EVER boring?" But it IS in a tube all cooled down, so I guess that makes sense. And then the light rail comes bursting out of the tunnel like a caterpillar out of hell and you get to enjoy making mean faces at people who let their bag hog up an entire seat to itself while everyone else has to stand.

7. Looking at pictures like this won't get you weird looks around the office.Look at him, trying to look all fierce with his claws! I can't even stand it!


8. Work e-mails include the most random updates on the animals. Like how the male leopard's first day on exhibit was: he sprayed a tree and then ate some leaves. Then he met his future girlfriend through some mesh and they hissed at each other. So then he went and ate some meat (what a guy). And the condors are flirting! And the caracals got turkey pinatas (?!) and one tried to hunt it and bite it on the back of the neck. And oh, those mountain goats! The male has been flicking his tongue and showing his beard to the female goat he has a crush on. If he doesn't know how to win over a lady then I don't know what!