Wild Nights

My roommate Amanda and I can get pretty crazy, so I'm going to tell you about our wild night tonight. Chugging! Drugs and peer pressure! Going out on the town! Try to keep up.

Part I. Drinking
Well, the REAL drinking was Amanda's one classy glass of red wine. But we are also retardedly fond of olives, and we each had our own can to snack on while we were being lazy on the couch. At her last few olives, Amanda just tipped the can back and, well, chugged the olives. Then we clicked our olive cans together and said CHEERS! And then felt a little ridiculous about our olive habit.Part II. Drugs
Speaking of habits, Amanda kind of has a thing for salt and vinegar Kettle chips. And by a "thing," I mean give her ten minutes and the entire bag is gone. But before the bag disappeared, this is what happened. (The Amanda parts are italicized because I think it makes her sound more evil and peer-pressure-y.)

Amanda: Hey do you want some?
Me: Oh um, I haven't actually tried those before.
Amanda: WHAT?! Oh they are soooo good!! Here, try one!
Me: Hmm, ok. (Then there's some crunching and a lot of bad facial expressions and twitching from the sourness) UGHHH these are WEIRD!
Amanda: Aren't they gooood?
Me: Wow, I am salivating so much! I can feel it in the back of my jaw! Ugh wow, I can really feel it now.
Amanda: Here, take some more. You'll like them once you get used to it.
Me: (still twitching and making lemon faces) Ok, I guess...

Clearly, peer pressure at its worst.

Part III. Going out
Amanda and I got hungry later in the evening, so we finally got up from the couch, put on our sassy coats, and headed to Fred Meyer's. Beaverton, watch out!! We ended up buying some ice cream. And some ingredients for soup.

We also came across some pretty intense ice cream. Here we have your run-of-the-mill Denali Moose Tracks.
Then they added some brownie in the Moose Tracks.


Then it got a little intense in the next freezer door over with Denali Extreme Moose Tracks.


But, it's not a party without Denali EXTREME MAXIMUM FUDGE MOOSE TRACKS!!!!


The soundtrack to the night was Aaron Carter in the car on the way to Fred Meyer's (I don't even know. Ask Amanda why...), the Bed Intruder song, and the Backin' Up song. We watched half of Robin Hood: Men In Tights, I realized my hair smells like marshmallows which probably means I should lay off the marshmallows, Amanda's lab Tucker gave us lots of disgruntled looks when we laughed too loud, and then we went to bed at midnight.

Scene.

Interning at the Zoo

These are the reasons why I love my internship at the zoo (even though it's mostly just a desk job and not nearly as cool as actually working with the animals):

1. You can walk around the zoo when you're tired of sitting at your desk, and you can watch lazy otters being lazy.

2. You get to text pictures of tigers to your roommate because of stupid inside jokes.

...Oh, you want to be in on it too? Well basically, I came across this Craigslist ad this doofy girl wrote and she explained how she and her sister have loved tigers all their lives, and they know that people who work with tigers have zoology degrees but if there's anyone with tigers in the Portland area, please contact them because they love tigers sooo much and really really want to work with them. And then she posted a goofy picture of herself (as if that adds something to her post), and the caption was "I'm the one in blue" and it was a picture of TWO GIRLS IN THE SAME BLUE SHIRT. So now whenever my roommate and I see anything with tigers we're like, "I love tigerrrrs" in the dorkiest breathy voice we can muster.

3. You get a discount at the souvenir store so you get a sweet deal on a box of fossilized dino crap for your special someone. Hello, awesome stocking stuffer! (I'm sorry I don't have a picture, but just imagine a nice looking bunch of polished agates that you can give to some unsuspecting person).


4. You get to pass by the case of animal skeletons every day, like this huge giraffe skull. My my, sir, what lovely ossicones you have (er, had).


5. Your desk area comes complete with awesome wolf decor. Sometimes you just know you fit in somewhere. (No, I do not have anything resembling those ridiculous Native American wolf t-shirts at cheesy mall kiosks.)

(Doesn't mean I don't want one.)

(But only for a night shirt...)


6. It's just a quick 10-minute trip on the light rail, which I can easily estimate the arrival time of according to how windy it is in the tunnel. 5 minutes waiting time = no wind at all. 1 minute waiting time = there goes your good hair day. 2 seconds waiting time = your face is composed mostly of hair and lip gloss.
Someone wrote "I hear you" on the other side of the tunnel wall. I am not sure why this is relevant.

While you listen to the light rail moan and bluster its way down the tunnel, you can contemplate things like, "How is lava EVER boring?" But it IS in a tube all cooled down, so I guess that makes sense. And then the light rail comes bursting out of the tunnel like a caterpillar out of hell and you get to enjoy making mean faces at people who let their bag hog up an entire seat to itself while everyone else has to stand.

7. Looking at pictures like this won't get you weird looks around the office.Look at him, trying to look all fierce with his claws! I can't even stand it!


8. Work e-mails include the most random updates on the animals. Like how the male leopard's first day on exhibit was: he sprayed a tree and then ate some leaves. Then he met his future girlfriend through some mesh and they hissed at each other. So then he went and ate some meat (what a guy). And the condors are flirting! And the caracals got turkey pinatas (?!) and one tried to hunt it and bite it on the back of the neck. And oh, those mountain goats! The male has been flicking his tongue and showing his beard to the female goat he has a crush on. If he doesn't know how to win over a lady then I don't know what!

Elevators

...are scary.

Ever since I lived in a 7th floor dorm room in college and had to take an elevator several times a day, I have had reoccurring nightmares of being trapped in free-falling elevators and perishing. I told Erik about it once, and he informed me that dur, elevators have emergency brake systems AND some sort of apparatus at the bottom to absorb the impact. After that, I stopped having the nightmares.

Of course they came back with a vengeance though; logic and reason didn't squelch these nightmares (when I hear "nightmare" I always picture these creepy red-eyed lady horses hanging out in a forest, 'cause you know, mares in the night?). Last month I started my internship at the zoo, and because I take the lightrail, guess what I get to ride on from the tunnel up to the zoo!

When it's 5 o'clock and I am forced to leave my cozy desk area (which I love because it came pre-decorated with wolves and wolves are AWESOME), I put my rainboots on all slow because I just know today's the day I'm going to die in that elevator. I pass by the zoo entrance with all of the Christmas lights and I think, "well, at least this is a good last scene." I cross the road, get up to the elevator door, press the down button, and shiver because it is the button of doom. And also it's cold out.

I always try to look for "Otis" written somewhere, because I want it to be a brand name elevator. If it has a brand name, it's legit and thus safer, right? Of course, this one seems to be a no-name brand. "T" for tunnel lights up and then you free fall 243 ft (there's a diagram in there of how you're going to die) and your ears pop and your guts get all discombobulated and sometimes it's fun to jump and feel all light, but mostly you're trying to think of something cool in your last moments because what was that loud noise and does it always fall this fast?

And then the doors open and I high-tail it out of there, chuckling to myself and wondering why I have to make elevator rides so dramatic, but also I'm so happy to be alive.